Wish (2023)
Directors: Chris Buck, Fawn Veerasunthorn
Screenwriters: Jennifer Lee, Allison Moore
Starring: Ariana DeBose, Chris Pine, Alan Tudyk, Angelique Cabral, Victor Garber, Natasha Rothwell, Jennifer Kumiyama, Harvey Guillén, Evan Peters, Ramy Youssef, Jon Rudnitsky

One hundred years of Disney. How does one possibly celebrate such an occasion? The little studio that begun with animated movies about a cartoon mouse (and rabbit) almost one hundred years ago now exists as a behemoth of the entertainment industry, owning half of Hollywood as well as the famed Disneyland and Disneyworld theme parks. With so much power, so much history and so many controversies, what could the company plan for their 100th birthday party release Wish that could possibly pay homage to such a legacy?

After undergoing a five year hiatus from releasing original animated movies between 2016’s Moana and 2021’s Raya and the Last Dragon, Disney have gone back to what they do best, what they are most known for, animation. They have returned to their roots in the past few years and released animated pictures like Raya, Encanto, and Strange World, to varying degrees of success. 

Wish finds itself set in the wonderful kingdom of Rosas, which is ruled by its king Magnifico (Chris Pine). King Magnifico performs a yearly ritual in which once someone turns 18, they can pass their greatest wish onto him and he will protect it and potentially allow it to come true one day. However, once Asha (Ariana DeBose) discovers that Magnifico’s intentions may not be as pure as they seem, she realises that she must do whatever she can to stop him. Even wishing upon a star. 

As is probably obvious from the story of a young girl wishing upon a star, the film finds itself heavily inspired by the famed Disney tune “When You Wish Upon a Star”, which originally featured in Pinocchio but has since become Disney’s signature song. Much like this little reference to the past of the company, the film is also filled to the brim with references that show the journey of Disney from then to now. 

It’s a good idea in scope; a nice way to celebrate the history of the studio whilst pushing forward with the new. This is, however, the only facet of the movie that feels at all genuine.

Whilst Disney were patting themselves on the back for how great their company used to be, they forgot to put heart into any other aspects of Wish. Similar to the hand-drawn animation style that the film attempts to replicate, much of Wish is flat and one dimensional.

This disingenuity is most evident in the film’s characters. The main character Asha (voiced by DeBose in perhaps the only memorable vocal performance of the entire film) is given a bit more depth and personality, but the side characters make it clear what was most important to Disney in the making of this film. The supporting cast of Asha’s family, friends and sidekicks is upwards of ten people, all of whom are of varying races, genders and sizes, placing equality, diversity and inclusivity at the forefront of the film to showcase the company’s core values. At least, what the company would like you to think are their core values. This becomes painstakingly obvious through the number “Knowing What I Know Now”, in which the film makes a point to show the differences in the characters through their blocking.

The issue is, these characters are given so little to do and have such little depth that we simply do not care about a single one of them. Though the filmmakers would like us to believe that these are beliefs, values and causes that the studio care about, they do almost nothing to convince us of that fallacy. Instead, the little bit of character that Asha’s friends are afforded is that each of them are inspired by the dwarfs in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. This once again proves that what Disney cares about the most is patting themselves on the back.

Wish essentially only exists as a form of corporate self-fellatio that is as insufferable to watch as it is to write about.

Coming in at only ninety-five minutes, the centenary celebration of Walt Disney Studios moves along at a breakneck pace, showing us that even the execs up at Disney HQ wanted this one to be over just as quickly as we did. This simultaneously illustrates just how little care was put into the story aspects of the film and how Wish is really just one big advertisement for the company that made it. Come the end of the film, a character asks how they could possibly keep the magic of the Kingdom of Rosas alive, to which another responds “easy, just keep wishing.” What Disney are really saying is “keep buying tickets.”

Just as one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, it must be said that among the garbage there are some nuggets of gold in Wish. The story has a really good idea underpinning it, and the film offers a nice opportunity to create a full-circle moment for the “wish upon a star” fable that Disney is essentially built upon. Going back to the hand-drawn aesthetic is also a nice touch, as is making the film a musical. Given more time, care and passion, Wish could have been something special. All it needed was some heart. The lack thereof in the final product tells us more about the company that made it than anything in Wish ever could. 

Wish is a hollow and lazy picture that feeds its audiences the propaganda of Disney, only this time they aren’t even hiding it with the usual magic that pervades throughout their output. Though the kids seeing this film will undoubtedly enjoy it, they deserve better. 

Score: 7/24

Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (2023)
Directors: John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein
Screenwriters: John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein, Michael Gilio
Starring: Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Justice Smith, Sophia Lillis, Regé-Jean Page, Hugh Grant, Daisy Head, Chloe Coleman

Despite being the most consistently popular fantasy role-playing game since its debut in the mid-1970s, a successful film adaptation of Dungeons & Dragons has remained illusive. Now, thirteen years after the last major Hollywood attempt at a D&D film, Game Night directors Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley roll their d20 hoping to change that with Honour Among Thieves. 

A ragtag party of reluctant heroes – including quick-witted bard Edgin (Chris Pine), his barbarian platonic partner Holga (Michelle Rodriguez), accident-prone mage Simon (Justice Smith), and shape-shifting freedom-fighter Doric (Sophia Lillis) – undertake a dangerous quest to steal a valuable magical artefact from a former ally (Hugh Grant) and stop a powerful necromancer (Daisy Head) from unleashing an undead horde on the world.

D&D has been given a new lease of life in recent years, particularly among younger players thanks to its prominence in shows like ‘Stranger Things’ and the success of YouTube live-streaming accounts like Critical Role. The new movie successfully connects with fans old and new alike because it not only packs every scene full of creatures, locations and magic from decades of imposingly dense lore (even non-fans may have heard of some of the game’s more bizarre monsters like the owl-bear and the gelatinous cube), but more importantly allows you plenty of time to get to know and love these new characters.

Chris Pine often plays roguishly charming guys and Ed is another of these with added singing (and when the singing doesn’t work, whacking someone over the head with his lute might), but what a lot of people forget is just how funny Michelle Rodriguez can be. Holga is the most formidable warrior in the party by some margin, but her deadpan responses to wisecracks and the slapstick gags that pepper her unbelievably tightly choreographed brawls with armoured goons frequently catch you off guard. Sophia Lillis and Justice Smith have delightful chemistry as two of the potentially most powerful heroes battling trauma and self-doubt and Regé-Jean Page’s self-serious and ultra-literal paladin Xenk Yendar is hilarious in contrast to his quipping allies. It’s amusing to realise just how little Hugh Grant’s 1990s romcom persona needs tweaking to become quite sinister, and Forge Fizwilliam follows hot on the heels of Paddington 2 in giving him another smarmy antagonist we love to hate.

Essentially a heist movie with an elaborate setup involving multiple game-appropriate side-quests, this is light on its feet, exciting and really funny, making an unexpected virtue of the original game being so much about engrossing storytelling. Characters colourfully provide their backstories at the drop of a hat, but usually not just as an exposition dump, whether they aim to make new friends, convince a fantasy parole board of their reformed ways, or as an elaborate distraction from their true purpose.

Goldstein and Daley gave us an incredibly inventive and tense long-take action scene in Game Night with that film’s hapless ensemble being chased around a mansion chucking a fragile Faberge egg between them. Here, they one-up themselves in a sequence that follows Doric rapidly morphing between a series of animal shapes as she escapes a hostile castle, from inside an impregnable treasure vault, through corridors, out a tower window and through city streets. As a side-note, the shape-shifting effects aren’t always perfect but their well-timed use in already dynamic battles makes sure they are always striking to look at. 

Much like in Duncan Jones’ ill-fated Warcraft adaptation, magic in this universe is shown to carry a cost, capable of achieving wondrous feats or causing great harm to yourself and others if misused. It can be a useful tool but only if you’re skilled and level-headed enough, and it can’t overcome every obstacle. Early on Simon is just as likely to cast the wrong spell that will send him hurtling uncontrollably skywards as he is to magic him and his companions out of their current predicament, but as is often the case with stories like this a lot of it comes down to believing in yourself. Everyone has their demons to overcome, their crosses to bear (or owl-bear), but coming together to share their burdens makes their monumental task seem a little less insurmountable. 

For all the fantasy fireworks and zippy exchanges between a likeable group of unlikely heroes, this film also has a big heart to it and really hits you on an emotional level towards the end, particularly in regards to exploring the highly unconventional but tender family dynamic between Edgin, his daughter Kira (Chloe Coleman), and Holga. 

As funny as it often is, not every joke in the film lands, like Hugh Grant making entirely too much of a big thing of telling his audience how unexpectedly hot his tea is, or a side-quest involving temporarily reviving the dead for information that drags on a little too long, plus some characters’ arcs and backstories make a lot more sense than others. It’s the final act arena challenge prominently featured in most of the trailers that is probably the least interesting passage in the film, but even this doesn’t outstay its welcome and we get a properly satisfying final fight shortly afterwards. 

Despite a few nitpicks, thanks to its charismatic cast, wit and constant momentum, Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves is a rip-roaring success and one of the best times you’re likely to have at the cinema this year. Video game movies may still be finding the right formula, but more old-fashioned role-playing games could very well provide the inspiration for a whole range of hugely enjoyable films if practiced current and former Dungeon Masters are that way inclined.  

Score: 19/24

To date, the DCEU has presented us with 12 releases, some standalones and others as part of a franchise (or two, or even three), but all linked in a shared universe of darker and more brooding fantasy-action cinema than their Disney-owned counterparts; inspired, at least at first, by the massive critical and commercial success of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy.

With iconic heroes arguably more famous and universally recognisable than those even in the culturally dominant MCU – certainly prior to the release of Iron Man in 2008 – the DCEU may have been critically panned on a number of occasions, but it has leant on the super-strong and ever-popular backs of the likes of Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman to earn a staggering $6billion at the worldwide box office since 2013, and likely countless more profits across its releases on home video, streaming and more recently on HBO Max.

In this edition of Ranked, we at The Film Magazine are looking at this mega power of contemporary studio cinema to judge each of its 12 releases from worst to best in terms of quality, significance, legacy, critical reception and public perception. 2019’s DC Comics adaptation Joker aside (per its status as a standalone DC film unrelated to the central DCEU), these are the DCEU Movies Ranked.

Follow @thefilmagazine on Twitter to never miss another list like this one. 

12. Suicide Squad (2016)

David Ayer’s 2016 anti-hero DCEU movie Suicide Squad was supposed to welcome in an era of viable adult alternatives to the family friendly comic book movie output of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the “leaked” comic-con footage going viral as fans and casuals alike were blown away by its originality.

Fast forward to the actual release however, and things ended up in a very different space.

Suicide Squad was a cluttered mess that included one of the longest first acts of any mainstream film for decades, the character introductions that seemed so cool and original in the trailer playing out like reductionist and trope-tastic moments in the film.

Ayer and company did manage to bring to life a few exciting scenes for the fans who had longed for many of the Suicide Squad’s famous characters to appear on the big screen – such as presenting the Batman as a scary, stalking force of the night in a scene where he pursues Deadshot – but the film was fighting its PG-13 (12A) age rating, obvious studio interference and all the changes in tone and quality that come with both, ultimately concocting an anti-climactic and by-the-numbers superhero-turned-supervillain movie complete with a vicious sky beam of death.

11. Justice League (2017)

Justice League Review

When Zack Snyder departed the 2017 version of Justice League to tend to personal matters much larger than any film release, Warner Bros turned to director of The Avengers Joss Whedon for a fix. It turns out that the ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ creator had a much different vision for the film than Snyder did, and the result was another stone cold mess of a movie.

Much like Suicide Squad, Justice League suffered from an overly long first act, the character introductions and team building lasting over 40 minutes and drastically shifting from the serious and apocalyptic tone of Snyder’s vision to comedy bits from the mind of Joss Whedon that ultimately undermined each character and any sense of tension, the stench of studio meddling radiating out of the screen.

Perhaps the biggest offence was how each of the superheroes were failed, none of their powers significant in the grand scheme of the narrative or any of their battles, their personal troubles crowbarred into the dialogue in ways just as jarring as Henry Cavil’s CG mouth (they had to remove the moustache he grew for Mission: Impossible – Fallout during reshoots).

For fans who’d longed to see the Justice League on the big screen, this was such a huge disappointment. What’s worse is that Justice League wasn’t even Batman v Superman II, or Wonder Woman 1.5 – failing to continue the themes, presentation or feel of the previous DCEU films – it was The Avengers-lite, which painted the picture of the DCEU being a lesser version of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, a reputation that DC and Warner Bros are still battling to overcome per every release to this day.

10. Black Adam (2022)

Hollywood megastar, and multi-time Best Paid Leading Man, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, was apparently fighting to be the lead of his own Black Adam movie for fifteen years before its eventual release in 2022. Given the project’s lack of overall quality and comprehension, that isn’t as surprising as it may first seem.

Black Adam (2022) suffers from a distinct lack of Johnsonisms, the former professional wrestler stripping himself of all the goofy comedy and explosive charisma of his ordinary screen presence to divulge in more dour fare that bleeds any potential directly out of this DC Extended Universe offering.

Even with a stellar supporting cast, and a number of big emotional beats coming to the fore within a timely fable on chosen heroes and forgotten nations, Black Adam feels rushed, its deeper topics mishandled, the film overstuffed with both action set pieces and characters. Even a strong return to the mainstream for former James Bond actor Pierce Brosnan as Doctor Fate isn’t enough to rescue this messy and outrageously cliche superhero film from the doldrums of the DC vault.

In many ways a victim of the modern cycle of studio cinema – that being a script heavy in moments rather than purpose – Black Adam seems to have more under the surface than it does on the screen, like the core of a good idea was extinguished while the film was in production.

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Don’t Worry Darling (2022)
Director: Olivia Wilde
Screenwriter: Katie Silberman
Starring: Florence Pugh, Harry Styles, Chris Pine, Olivia Wilde, Gemma Chan, Kiki Layne

Don’t Worry Darling was destined to be a hot topic before even a second of footage rolled at a showing. The press coverage of the behind-the-scenes shenanigans has been utter chaos, from Shia LaBeouf’s hiring and firing to protect cast members, to a clip that showed Harry Styles apparently spitting on his co-star Chris Pine, and further allegations of arguments about cast wages. All this would normally be as big of a draw as the film itself, with people flocking to see what all the fuss is about if nothing else. Let’s hope, for the sake of cinema, that this social media attention is what gets people in, because Don’t Worry Darling, which sees Florence Pugh’s Alice trying to discover what’s really going on in the seemingly utopian community she lives in with Jack (Styles) and her friends, is certainly not going to do it based on sheer cinematic merit.

Florence Pugh and Chris Pine are the standouts of Don’t Worry Darling, and when the two come together for several tense, well shot scenes, the film knows what it’s doing. The writing, direction, and their performances, in a pivotal scene at the ⅔ marker, gets the skin digging into the arm of the chair, and the hairs on the back of the neck standing to attention. It’s a shame we don’t get more of Chris Pine’s Frank – a man with a politician’s smile and the theatrical, manufactured energy of a Philip K Dick villain – because when he comes onto the screen the whole film gets better. Pugh also brings a suitable heroine to the borders of hysteria and paranoia with panache, but Frank is by far the most interesting aspect of the film.

These two keep the energy going, and director Olivia Wilde’s own performance as Alice’s friend Bunny has a casual, off-the-cuff ease, which helps one forget Harry Styles’ stilted, uninspired performance. Perhaps that was intentional, as one of the film’s key themes is an examination of the boredom of male-ruled suburban America (suitably decked out here in 1950s stylings that all the art team should be proud of), but it would have been better for the film if he didn’t reflect it so well. The most animated he gets is when his face is buried between Florence Pugh’s legs, which is great for steaminess but not so much for cinematic greatness.

This focus on Styles’ Jack, and unfortunate non-exploration of Pine’s Frank, begins to show the major weaknesses of the film. It is primarily focused on two aspects; the conspiratorial mystery element of what is really going on at the Victory project they all live in, and the rebellion of Alice against the patriarchal nuclear-family world she inhabits, and the expectations of womanhood to provide for the man, and to enable him to do his job. In examining the latter aspect, the film takes on an air of narcissistic self-importance which is completely undermined by the triviality and mundanity of both the exploration of the former and its eventual twist reveal.

The direction is uninspired, and the surreal moments meant to get our hearts pounding is stereotypically Hollywood rinse-and-repeat imagery-for-dummies. The film doesn’t know how to go about revealing this mystery, so it tiptoes around the problem for an excruciating hour plus. When it eventually does expose all, it doesn’t have the guts to bring about something monumentally groundbreaking. It falls back on tropes and ideas seen in a thousand films prior, from The Prisoner to Monstrous to Vivarium, with nothing new to offer.

Don’t Worry Darling looks good. Some of it is actually effectively crafted. But it has been executed by a mainstream Hollywood institution that pulls its punches when it should be going all out. It is a feminist, Hollywood interpretation of Vivarium, which is a shame because Vivarium is undoubtedly the superior film and will never get any of the notice this film did. Potential = squandered.

Score: 9/24

The goal of this Movie List is to celebrate a figure who has been maligned by society, to replace Perez Hiltonian discourse that aimed to degrade a child actor who didn’t have much choice in her own rise to fame. Lindsay Lohan deserves to be appreciated for the excellent work she did in what was surely a difficult environment. For her fans and supporters, these are the definitive and iconic Lindsay Lohan film performances for 90s/00s kids: the 10 Best Lindsay Lohan Performances.

Follow @thefilmagazine on Twitter.

10. Labor Pains (2009)

This one must be prefaced with the “not-a-good-movie” disclaimer. It’s like Fifty Shades without the sex…

Lindsay Lohan’s character Thea works at a book publisher, and she finds herself achieving some career mobility when she pretends she’s pregnant. There’s a lot of unfunny comedy throughout the film, and a surplus of superfluous characters, but no one is watching Labor Pains for any reason other than Lindsay Lohan.

Her performance becomes quite charming whenever she begins to buy into the film’s premise. She’s constantly having to act as if she’s pregnant, and eventually the fake pregnancy becomes her reality. Working with a pregnant author gives her perspective and an understanding of motherhood, womanhood, and humanity, and Lohan is able to communicate the struggle in an entertaining way.

Without Lindsay Lohan, this film would be just another lame comedy from the late 2000s with hardly anything worth remarking upon.

9. Just My Luck (2006)

Just My Luck is another mediocre comedy film that has its moments.

Lindsay Lohan stars opposite Chris Pine (Star Trek, Wonder Woman), and after a fiery meeting at a masquerade ball, the two swap luck – think Freaky Friday but with tarot and kissing instead of racial stereotypes.

Lohan’s performance is nothing spectacular, but she’s doing her schtick here: she’s the all-American girl making her way through a ridiculous comedy premise. The chemistry is there with Pine, and they each sell blunderous physical comedy scenes.

If you like Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohaning, Just My Luck is an enjoyable film.

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Hell or High Water (2016)
Director: David Mackenzie
Screenwriter: Taylor Sheridan
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Chris Pine, Ben Foster, Gil Birmingham, Marin Ireland, Katy Mixon, Dale Dickey, Margaret Bowman

In 2016, Scottish director David Mackenzie (Young Adam; Starred Up) and American actor-turned-screenwriter Taylor Sheridan (Sicario; Wind River) came together to create Hell or High Water, a striking modern Western that took critics and audiences by storm. Sheridan’s script had been on the 2012 Black List and it isn’t hard to see why it made such an impression, sparking a fervent bidding war until Sidney Kimmel Entertainment successfully acquired the project.  

The Howard Brothers Toby and Tanner (Chris Pine and Ben Foster) are on a crime spree spanning the state of Texas. Only the soon-to-be retired hero lawman Marcus Hamilton (Jeff Bridges) stands in their way. But are the brothers really just in it for the money and the thrill of the chase? Tanner may be, but his younger, wiser brother has another agenda beyond lining his own pockets.

Hell or High Water features career-best turns from an intense Chris Pine and an unhinged Ben Foster, great even by the latter actor’s career speciality of playing unstable live wires. They bring the brotherly banter along with a convincing portrayal of affection (reluctant or not) that you can only have for one of your own blood. Foster’s Tanner is the muscle; a blunt instrument prepared to do whatever it takes to come out on top. Pine’s Toby is the brains; far more cautious and forever trying to keep his volatile older brother in check lest he not only endanger their profitable spree but end their lives. They have some lovely moments together, whether celebrating a heist gone well over beers or bickering over the narrowest of escapes, and always with deep abiding love. Jeff Bridges does what he does best with added lower jaw acting as a cop rather annoyed to be approaching compulsory retirement. Marcus has the usual Bridges swagger, but it’s a pretty melancholy turn from the former Dude; he sells this old-timer putting on a brave face whilst going through the most terrifying experience of his life: staring down the prospect of doing nothing for the final stretch of his existence.

Hell or High Water’s opening shot – a long-take panorama of a deserted parking lot that begins to track a bank employee (Dale Dickey) as she takes the long walk across the lot and through the doors of the bank to see the armed brothers lying in wait for her – is simply stunning. Whether watching the film with a crowd or at home, it’s almost impossible not to become enraptured from this very first, very confident, moment. It was somewhat of a surprise when David Mackenzie followed up his intimate and brutal prison drama Starred Up with a sweeping Western (or Southern), but you can pick up his self-assured sense of purpose behind the camera from the sure hand with which he guides both full-blown shootouts and close-scrutiny character work.

Mackenzie created such an uncomfortable atmosphere in the confined corridors of lockup, but here he uses interior spaces to a more comic effect, with Marcus knocking loose a lampshade by the simple act of taking off his comically big Texan hat in the pokiest of motel rooms he is forced to share with his partner Alberto (Gil Birmingham) being a standout example. In Hell or High Water, the dread and the tension comes from how Mackenzie and cinematographer Giles Nuttgens (The Fundamentals of Caring) use the many wide open, exposed spaces. The desolately beautiful Texan landscapes spell trouble for anyone making their way across them, and every character who meets a nasty end meets it in the glare of the Texan sun.

The playfully noirish, deadpan and knowing script by Taylor Sheridan (that can comfortably be mentioned in the same breath as his equally excellent but much more sombre screenplay for Sicario), married with desolate Southern imagery, results in what can only be described as cinematic poetry. Margaret Bowman’s diner waitress’s barking of “What don’t ya want?” to her customers by way of taking an order, and a Texan would-be vigilante threateningly sneering “You gotta find the tree” that he’s determined to hang the bank robbers from (Marcus chuckling response: “Gotta love West Texas!”) being prime examples of the tonal shifts mastered by the highly respected screenwriter.

As well as all the usual Western tropes – shootouts, lawmen and outlaws, dusty frontier towns and bleak scenery – this film is an anti-financier treatise that was released in a world only just recovering from the 2008 financial crash. The two great evils in modern America are arguably prejudice and greed, and both have taken a fully justified beating on film over the past decade or so, the latter corroding and destroying everyone it touches in this story. You want these brothers playing Robin Hood to get away with it – the banks deserve to be punished and played at their own game. Though it’s eventually explained to us, the actual mechanics of Toby’s grand plan are a little hard to get a good fix on. You can see how his crime spree could benefit his estranged family, or hurt the money men, but probably not both. The message still hits like a bullet though, and Hell or High Water remains gripping and character-rich, packed with relevant real-world commentary and mythical imagery, proving a thrilling ride through gorgeous scenery.

23/24

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Director: Patty Jenkins
Screenwriters: Patty Jenkins, Geoff Johns, Dave Callaham
Starring: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig, Pedro Pascal

Equally exhilarating as it was historic, Wonder Woman’s arrival onto the big screen in 2017 marked a significant change for the future of the male-dominated superhero universe. As a female-led project, with director Patty Jenkins at the helm, Diana’s first stand-alone cinematic outing in the DC Extended Universe leaned into the feminist ethos of the character’s origins, becoming the first major triumph for gender inclusivity in a comic-book franchise film, both on and off the screen. With success under her belt, alongside heaps of Wonder Woman source material to work with, there was palpable suspense in the air to see what Jenkins would do next with the limitless potential of Diana’s story.

A new direction for Wonder Woman seemed bright; impossibly colourful neon posters and a mass of pop culture references promised another incredible on-screen turn for Gal Gadot, with Diana set to return in the thick of 1984. In two short opening sequences, inspired ideas play out on an unparalleled scale as Jenkins outlines the moral conundrums Diana will attempt to grapple with within her second adventure. Firstly, on Themyscira, where a young Diana (Lilly Aspell) competes in a magnificent, Olympics-style games against several significantly older competitors. Diana storms the competition, demonstrating unparalleled strength and precision before she falls from her horse and fails to cross the finish line – tasting failure for the very first time. Secondly, in a ‘Stranger Things’ style Star Mall, where we catch up with a ‘present-day’ Diana (Gal Gadot) as she exquisitely foils a jewellery robbery while making conscious efforts to conceal her identity. In these opening pieces, Jenkins demonstrates the new proportions of space in which Diana can now navigate; all the brakes are off this time around.

Bubbling to the brim with big hair, bright colours, shoulder pads and parachute pants, we arrive in 1980s Washington DC, where Diana now works at the Smithsonian museum as an archaeologist. Although just as powerful, stunning and stylish, there is an undeniable change in Diana, felt most when we see her sitting alone in a cafe, looking longingly for human connection. She finds an unlikely kindred spirit in her clumsy colleague, Barbara Minerva (Kristen Wiig), whom seeks her help regarding an unusual, ancient stone. Thought to have the power to grant any wish, the stone’s legend attracts a failed business/ oilman, Maxwell Lord (Pedro Pascal), who uses his charisma and charm on Barbara to gain access to the stone and the limitless power it promises.

While it appears that Lord, through years of research, is privy to the exact rules and limitations of the stone, Barbara and Diana are less versed in the dire repercussions that come with wish making. After Diana saves her from a drunken stranger’s late-night harassment, Barbara begins to feel envious not only of the effortless way Diana can handle herself but her irrefutable beauty and noticeable effect on those around her. In desperation, she wishes to be more like Diana, unaware that such a wish comes with a dose of her powers. Likewise, Diana sees her greatest desire arrive in the form of her lost love, World War One pilot Steve Trevor (Chris Pine), ignorant of the price she must pay in return for their reunion. Ignoring their situation’s pressing reality, Diana and Steve cross oceans and conquer 80s fashion trends, attempting to reclaim the stone and stop Maxwell Lord before his plan can bring about mass scale global devastation.

There’s nerve in Jenkins’ attempt to choose a heavy morality narrative for Diana’s second on-screen adventure. However, sadly, Jenkins and fellow scriptwriters David Callaham and Geoff Johns bite off a lot more than they can chew. With two complex villain origin stories on show, it isn’t long before Diana begins to fade into the background of her own film. ‘Maxwell Lord 1984’ would have made for a more apropos title, as Pedro Pascal steals not only scenes but the entire plot away from our lasso wielding Supergirl; as a pyramid scheme crazed, power-obsessed con-man, Pascal finds his groove. Wiig also manages to steal her share of the action, delivering Barbara with her reliable, high energy kookiness alongside a refreshingly powerful embrace of her sexuality. As Barbara, Wiig is the prime alpha predator.

Snuggled up in bed with Steve, Diana decides they should probably get up and look into that whole annoying stone debacle, not because there’s any pressing reason for her to do so, but because she doesn’t have that much else on. Once up and about, Steve’s introduction into the 1980s works well. Pine hits those reliable ‘coming to terms with modern-day advancements’ jokes out of the park, but his baffled fashion show is nothing we haven’t seen a thousand times before. While it’s moving to see Diana and Steve make up for lost time, Steve’s presence in the narrative is stunting to Diana’s growth as a character, and despite Pine and Gadot’s compelling chemistry, it’s challenging to accept Diana’s fixation on a brief, 70-year-old romance. Of Themyscira, Diana’s mother and her Amazonian sisters, we hear nothing.

The film’s key themes are tired and overdone. Diana’s stone directly parallels W.W Jacobs’ “The Monkey’s Paw”, an allegorical tale about a tricky animal paw with the power to fulfil any wish. The story, which outlines the repercussions of greed and desire, has been reworked and remodelled repeatedly, appearing in such classic and mainstream television as a ‘Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror’ episode. Jenkins fails to add anything fresh to the ‘be careful what you wish for’ lesson: here she uses the story for scale, forcing the entire world into a patronising morality tale, which, even with superpowers considered, fails to feel believable in Diana’s reality. Other parts of the story are exasperatingly functional: Diana can suddenly make objects invisible when trying to avoid capture during an aeroplane getaway. Really?

As perplexing as they are, Wonder Woman 1984 does manage to get away with most of its suspicious, eyebrow-raising scenes. However, other areas of the lazy storytelling are significantly more unforgivable: in an Egyptian sub-plot with no real importance, West African and Middle-Eastern characters become reduced to oil-hungry and villainous stereotypes, and the ludicrous decision to have Gadot – a former Israeli soldier – swoop in to save helpless, middle eastern children from danger is unfathomable. Yet, politics aside, the film continues to come undone with messy plot points and a dire overuse of ugly CGI spectacle. As we slog towards a sloppy finish, neither Pascal’s maniacal intensity, Wiig’s bewitching Barbara, nor Gadot and Pine’s grief-stricken chemistry, has the power to save the day.

Diana makes unblinking eye contact with her audience during the sluggish grand finale in a strange fourth wall break. As she asks everyone to be selfless and kinder to one another, Wonder Woman 1984 proves that, if nothing else, it has achieved the same out-of-touch, cringe-inducing vigour as Gadot’s own, celebrity-studded “Imagine” sing-a-long.

10/24

In the sequel to the 2017 mega-hit, Diana “Wonder Woman” Prince battles a mysterious force whilst re-establishing an old relationship.

Warner Bros. chief Toby Emmerich had this to say: “As fans around the world continue to embrace Diana Prince, driving the strong opening weekend performance of ‘Wonder Woman 1984,’ we are excited to be able to continue her story with our real life Wonder Women — Gal and Patty — who will return to conclude the long-planned theatrical trilogy.”

The strong opening weekend Emmerich speaks of refers to the $16.7 million the film made in 2,100 North American theaters. In a pre-pandemic world, this would be considered a flop. In comparison to the first film, which opened in 4,100 theaters and gained $103.1 million in its first weekend, this would be an embarrassment for Warner Bros. However, as it stands, WW84 has had the biggest opening for any post-covid release, and made more than Warner Bros.’ previous tentpole feature, Tenet, which made $9.35 million. Interestingly, WW84 made more despite giving audiences the option to stay at home to watch it via Warner streaming service HBO Max, whereas Tenet was exclusive to theaters. Tenet was also released at a time where covid numbers were lower than they are now. Worldwide, WW84 currently sits at $85 million.

Wonder Woman 1984 also marks the beginning of Warner Bros. simultaneously releasing films in theaters and on their streaming service, HBO Max. This decision has spawned quite a lot of criticism, with many directors disappointed with the studio’s new plan. Legendary Entertainment, the production company behind Dune, are reportedly looking to take legal action due to their film not getting the full theatrical treatment they desire. However, it is currently unclear how fazed Warner Bros. will be as they are reporting that WW84 broke platform records.

A Warner Bros. press release stated: “Nearly half of the platform’s retail subscribers viewed the film on the day of its arrival, along with millions of wholesale subscribers who have access to HBO Max via cable, wireless, or other partner services. HBO Max also saw the total viewing hours on Friday more than triple in comparison to a typical day in the previous month.” This makes WW84 the biggest film to debut on the streaming service and will likely reinforce Warner Bros.’ decision to release films on HBO Max and in theaters at the same time throughout 2021.

No release date has been announced for the sequel but the studio’s desire to fast-track the film has caused some concern due to Patty Jenkins’ already busy schedule. Jenkins has re-teamed with Gadot for Cleopatra, which she is directing for Paramount. The historical epic is expected to hit theaters in 2022. In addition, during the recent Disney Investor Day presentation, Jenkins was announced to helm Star Wars: Rogue Squadron which is currently eyeing a Christmas Day 2023 release date. With such big budget and high profile films on the way, it will likely be some time before audiences will see the Amazonian warrior’s third outing.

Be sure to see where Wonder Woman 1984 placed on our 2020 Comic Book Movies Ranked list.

In the past twelve months, we have been offered two brand new releases from the new look DC line-up and have seen Netflix enter the sphere with a major conversation-stirrer for the first time. We even finally got The New Mutants after years of delays and rumours about whether or not it would ever be released.

Starring the likes of Charlize Theron, Vin Diesel, Margot Robbie and Gal Gadot, the comic book adaptations of the silver screen in 2020 haven’t been lacking in star power either, and whether they’ve headed straight to cinemas, streaming or Premium VoD, the comic book films of the the year have offered us just the slightest bit of reassurance that enjoyment can be found even in the darkest of times.

In this edition of Ranked, we at The Film Magazine are looking at these five wide release comic book movie adaptations and judging each on quality, enjoyment, critical reception and audience perception to see which are the worst and which are the best, in this, the 2020 Comic Book Movies Ranked.

Follow us on Twitter to keep up to date with more articles like this one. 

5. The New Mutants

The New Mutants Review

This could have been a half decent Disney Channel movie if it had applied any logic and was rewritten several times to eliminate every eye-rolling dialogue exchange.

The serviceable final act may convince some they’ve seen a movie that “wasn’t that bad”, and we should be conscious of all the issues this film faced before heading to the release window (studio changes, reshoots with a cast that had aged significantly, distinctly different visions from executives in charge of the project, and year after year of delays), but make no mistake that this was a whimper of a final bow for an X-Men franchise that at one time wrote the rule book for modern comic book adaptations.

Perhaps the only major shining light coming from The New Mutants was the performance of Anya Taylor-Joy, who added this Marvel-adjacent movie to her list of rich and impressive performances from 2020.

Recommended for you: Every X-Men Movie Ranked

4. The Old Guard

The Old Guard Review

2020 wasn’t exactly short on comic book adaptations that seemed to be nothing more than a series of fairly uninspired moments precariously taped together by cliché and questionable outlooks on life, and The Old Guard was certainly amongst the worst of them – its “pre-ordained by a mysterious and unspoken force to be the ultimate moral compass over humanity for all eternity” group of so-called misfits lacked any significant depth and not only came across very “secret society” (and thus difficult to root for), but each of them was so unspeakably invincible that the stakes were also incredibly low.

Setting The Old Guard in contemporary times also felt lazy (flashbacks of battles in ancient China signalling to us the movie we should have got instead), and this pro-war-in-the-middle-east, pro-guns and pro-vigilante justice amalgamation of bland and outdated themes and visuals was just about bin-worthy. Quite why the likes of Charlize Theron, Kiki Layne, Matthias Schoenaerts and Chiwetel Ejiofor would attach their names to this uninspired dross is anyone’s guess, but if famous faces doing their own stunts (no matter how bland and last decade said stunts are) is your thing, there’s something here for you. Probably.

The Old Guard survives the bottom spot by way of not being a blotch on the record of a mostly great franchise as The New Mutants was.

The Wrap – 5th Nov 2019

Warner Bros. are in talks to sign up In Bruges, The Lobster and Dumbo actor Colin Farrell to play iconic Batman villain The Penguin in their upcoming Matt Reeves directed feature The Batman.

Deadline – 5th Nov 2019

Former Batman Ben Affleck has joined new Robert Rodriguez directed action-thriller Hypnotic as the star, signing on to play a detective searching for his missing daughter and discovering a secret government program.

Variety – 6th Nov 2019

Michael Keaton (Birdman; Spider-Man: Homecoming), Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction; Spider-Man: Far from Home) and Maggie Q (Divergent) are set to star in a new A-List action-thriller from 007: Casino Royale director Martin Campbell titled The Asset. Millennium Films, the production company behind The Expendables, are reportedly in charge of the project.

THR – 5th Nov 2019

Iconic actor James Dean is to be resurrected via CGI to star in an upcoming war film from directors Anton Ernst and Tati Golykh titled Finding Jack. The production will use old footage and photography to create a full body render of the famed star of Rebel Without A Cause who died in a car accident in 1955.

Empire – 6th Nov 2019

Ken Watanabe (Inception; Godzilla) is set to star in a new film from Philomena producer Gabrielle Tana and debut feature screenwriter-director Patrick Dickinson. Wild Rose star Jessie Buckley has been lined up to support Watanabe in what is being described as “a universal portrait of love, acceptance and family loss”.

THR – 6th Nov 2019

The Scream franchise is being resurrected by Spyglass Entertainment. According to sources at Bloody Disgusting, Gary Barber’s Spyglass Media Group is developing a new film without Scream 1, 2 & 4 screenwriter Kevin Williamson, the rumoured screenwriter for the new project being Blade, Batman Begins and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice screenwriter David S. Goyer. It is unknown whether the new film will be a reboot or a new entry into the pre-existing film canon (of which every entry has thus far been directed by the since deceased Wes Craven).

Bloody Disgusting – 6th Nov 2019

Alfonso Gomez-Rejon has signed on to direct Newsflash, a biographical drama about legendary news anchor Walter Cronkite that is set to star Star Trek and Wonder Woman actor Chris Pine. The film is to be set on the day Cronkite must report the assassination of President Kennedy.

THR – 7th Nov 2019

Anchorman, The Big Short and Vice director Adam McKay has signed a first-look film deal with Paramount Pictures. The screenwriter-director-producer and his production company Hyperobject Industries will, at least for the foreseeable future, give Paramount first-refusal rights to any feature project they put together. McKay has a similar deal for TV, streaming and podcasts with Warner Bros. owned HBO.

THR – 8th Nov 2019

Jon Spaihts, the showrunner for the upcoming HBO ‘Dune’ series, has exited his role with the TV show to focus on writing the sequel for Denis Villeneuve’s 2020 Dune movie.

THR – 5th Nov 2019

Yesterday screenwriter and Love Actually director Richard Curtis is set to adapt his own children’s book “The Empty Stocking” for an animated feature from London-based animation house Locksmith Animation. The film will reportedly be made for streaming platforms.

THR – 6th Nov 2019

The third Fantastic Beasts movie will begin filming in Spring 2020, with Brazil the apparent destination for the cast and crew including Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston and Jude Law.

Deadline – 4th Nov 2019

Carrie Fisher’s brother Todd Fisher has revealed in an interview with Yahoo! that the original plan for upcoming release Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker was to see Fisher’s Princess Leia character become a powerful force-wielding jedi, developing the building blocks put in place in The Last Jedi (2017).

Yahoo! – 6th Nov 2019

The 2019 European Film Awards nominees list was revealed this weekend – here.

The Film Magazine – 10th Nov 2019

And finally… (CW: Sexual Abuse)

Jurassic Park and Thor: Ragnarok star Jeff Goldblum this week moved to defend Woody Allen against decades old allegations of sexual assault against a minor, stating in an interview with i that there “is a presumption of innocence until proven guilty” and that he “would consider working with” the director again following a minor role in Allen’s 1977 film Annie Hall.

i – 6th Nov 2019

French director Christophe Ruggia, who was recently accused of the sexual assault of Portrait of a Lady on Fire star Adele Haenel when she was just a minor, has released a statement to the same publication the actress first went on record with her experience, stating: “The adulation and hope that I placed in her may have seemed, given her young age, troublesome at certain moments. If that is the case and if she is willing, then I ask her to accept my apology.” He also affirmed to have “never engaged in the physical gestures and sexual harassment”.

Mediapart via THR – 6th Nov 2019

French-Polish director Roman Polanski has been accused of rape by French actress Valentine Monnier, who claims the filmmaker behind Rosemary’s Baby, Chinatown and The Pianist assaulted her in a ski chalet in Switzerland in 1975 when she was 18 years old. The director won’t be charged as France has a 20-year statute of limitations, but this latest accusation fuels the backlash the filmmaker continues to face for his suspected rape of a 13 year old girl in 1975; the trial for which his refusal to attend still makes him a wanted criminal in the United States.

Le Parisien via Variety – 8th Nov 2019