It’s a Wonderful Knife (2023)
Director: Tyler MacIntyre
Screenwriter: Michael Kennedy
Starring: Jane Widdop, Joel McHale, Justin Long, Jess McLeod, Katherine Isabelle, Cassandra Naud

One has to wonder if a review for a film titled It’s A Wonderful Knife needs any introduction, but one must be written regardless. If you think it might have some twist to what the title would suggest, please allay those fears: it’s exactly what you think it is. Knife is a slasher take on It’s A Wonderful Life, the 1946 Frank Capra film starring Jimmy Stewart, a man who wishes his life never existed and through visiting an alternate timeline at Christmas, comes to appreciate what he had. Here we have a play on the same thing, with Jimmy Stewart being replaced by Jane Widdop’s Winnie, who stopped the Angel Falls masked killer one year before, and when ending up in a timeline where she never existed, finds the killer still on the loose, now with over 25 kills under his belt. If Winnie doesn’t stop the killer before the end of the night, she’ll never get back to her home world.

When you realise that Michael Kennedy also wrote the screenplay to Christopher Landon’s 2020 slasher film Freaky, a slasher sendup of classic Lindsay Lohan/Jamie Lee Curtis film Freaky Friday, you know what you’re in for. It’s a film that isn’t afraid to lean into the film it’s stealing its storyline from. It’s going to be pretty campy, silly in parts following teen outsiders coming together in the strangest of circumstances, with a decent production budget, and everyone knows what they’re doing. There’s never an attempt to be anything it isn’t and there are a few people who overdo the acting for the sheer joy and fun of it. Case in point, horror veteran Justin Long as the smarmy corporate businessman Henry Waters, doing his best capitalist megalomaniac impression. It’s overdone to a Matthew Lillard Thirteen Ghosts level, but so good for it. As the kids would say, he understood the assignment.

The cinematography from Nicholas Piatnik is great, full of christmas lights managing to set off the darkness well. It’s a film of contrasts, of light and dark, of neon greed shining out in a world that has forgotten hope and faith. In a film like this which is, despite the bloody slayings, warm and cosy, the atmosphere is perfectly captured. Of course, congratulations also go to the art direction by Louisa Birkin, and set dressing by Matt Carson and Jan Sikora for helping Piatnik get the lighting right with the practicals. It’s a wonderfully cohesive film in terms of its visual aesthetic, and when the blood hits the snow and the white costume of the killer, the blood is dark and visceral, which only works in contrast to the vibrant lighting. It’s a gorgeous looking film.

It’s a Wonderful Knife also isn’t afraid to go the whole way with its anti-capitalist statement. Its whole sentiment is that greed and complicit non-action in the thuggish, brutal ways to establish corporate dominance is not only manifest in physical actions, but is a kind of mental virus, capable of taking over the minds of those watching. It preys on grief. It preys on when we are at our lowest. Even those vehemently opposed to megalomaniacal corporations taking advantage of the lower classes still order from Amazon on occasion. In this way, Knife manages to take criticism of capitalist greed further than other films which might otherwise just have a statement of ‘capitalism bad’ as their fundamental premise.

But despite all this praise, there are parts that aren’t fantastic on a technical front. A few moments are very on-the-nose with their dialogue, expositionally overdoing the points we already know. The first kill is badly done, seeming like it’s cut to hide any effects work that they apparently haven’t done. Either that or it’s just badly cut. And even though Justin Long is perfectly embodying the smarmy businessman, one could say it’s overdone even past the point of campiness; overdoing an overdone performance. It’s how you take it.

So it isn’t perfect. Perhaps the messages are heavy handed, as subtle as a candy cane to the throat. But who cares? It’s not the greatest film in the world, but the main cast is great, the visuals are very Hallmark, and it’s got a cute ending. So on a cold night, if you’re fed up with the regular Christmas films, this 90 minute blast might just hit the spot for some holiday horror hooliganism.

Score: 16/24

Is it an immature movie? Sure. The humor level doesn’t surpass a “South Park” or “Family Guy” episode. There are puppets having sex, doing drugs, and engaging in general deviancy. The camera lingers way too long on an octopus milking a cow, and spends more time than needed on watching the protagonist ejaculate silly string, but at least there’s an attempt at a story and quality puppet work. This isn’t Movie 43.

This actually follows the muppet formula in a way; the film is a play on noir PI works. Our main character is an ex-cop who is approached by a dame. She’s being blackmailed by someone, and it’s the dick’s job to fix it (strangely they never touched the “private dick” joke, that seems right up this movie’s alley). While following the trail, he becomes wrapped up in someone’s attempts to murder the cast of a TV show, and is dragged back into working with an old police partner (played by Melissa McCarthy) in order to crack the case. The two have a past, and it all plays into the plot in a satisfying way that makes sense. It’s very standard fare for this style of movie, and a fine plot for a parody film.

Where the film goes off the rails for me is in its not-so-subtext. In the beginning, the film tells and shows you that the puppets are discriminated against. Villains will express bigotry meant to parallel real racism, and I think the film is trying to have a positive message against that kind of bigotry. However, two problems exist; the film is too absurd to bother having that sort of message in it, and having the knowledge that puppets are meant to be a stand-in for oppressed minorities (specifically black Americans) leaves an odd feeling when deviant puppet behavior is so frequently played for laughs. One only needs a passing familiarity with the history of racism and xenophobia to understand why that’s problematic.

If you remove the race layer, I think there are some decent joke ideas hidden in the script. There’s a rabbit puppet that’s a sex-addicted pervert, which made me laugh. I think puppets using sugar as a drug is kind of funny. Some may complain about the nonsensical anatomy, but it’s a joke I’m comfortable not thinking about too hard. How can a human take a puppet liver transplant? It wouldn’t become funnier to explain, so they picked the best permutation of that joke. Puppet anatomy is pushed to its limits as humor (albeit incredibly hit-or-miss), and I’m sure a better writer could’ve written a better script. However, it’s not even the worst in the screenplay category. Like I mentioned, the plot is unimaginative, but I didn’t dislike it. It hits the emotional points it needs to and those scenes are perfectly okay.

Melissa McCarthy actually works for me because she went all-in. She’s snortin’ candy powder and yelling swear words at puppets. She always thrives in roles where she comes into verbal and physical conflict with characters, and she remains comfortable with that schtick here. The role seemed written for her, and she did exactly what a ridiculous movie needs a ridiculous actress to do. On the other hand, Joel McHale stood out in a negative way in moments. His character appears out of nowhere, his interactions with the puppets weren’t as good as McCarthy’s, and the only thing he plays well is the anger and frustration that comes along with being the villainous higher-up in a buddy cop movie.

So how bad is The Happytime Murders? Not good, but not that bad. Can it win the Worst Picture Razzie? I suppose it can. Should it? No. I’ve seen at least one worse film from the Worst Picture Razzie nominations list . With a script that moved away from the raunch and more into a silly puppet parody, it could’ve been decent. Don’t bother watching The Happytime Murders, but the creators can rest easy knowing they’re only a top five worst film of the year.

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The biggest takeaway; Gotti, Holmes & Watson, and The Happytime Murders were probably the three worst major motion pictures of 2018. Each film earned six nominations. John Travolta, Johnny Depp, John C. Reilly (bad year to be a John) and Will Farrell are all nominated in two categories. Fifty Shades Freed’s Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan may have avoided the Worst Screen Combo nomination, but the film’s writing and direction have both captured the Razzcademy’s attention. One final note, I’d like to congratulate Melania Trump as she is the first First Lady to receive a Razzie nomination! Sadly, her husband cannot claim his nomination as a first, as Dubya was nominated in 2004 for Fahrenheit 9/11. I’m rooting for you, Melania. You’re the first Trump to achieve something that doesn’t alienate a large majority of the world’s population.

Without further ado, I’m proud to give you the full list of nominations for the 39th Golden Raspberry Awards!

Worst Picture–

Holmes & Watson

Robin Hood

The Happytime Murders

Gotti

Winchester

Worst Actor-

Johnny Depp (voice only), Sherlock Gnomes

Bruce Willis, Death Wish

Donald J. Trump (as himself), Death of a Nation

John Travolta, Gotti

Will Farrell, Holmes & Watson

Worst Actress-

Melissa McCarthy, The Happytime Murders

Jennifer Garner, Peppermint

Amber Heard, London Fields

Helen Mirren, Winchester

Amanda Seyfried, The Clapper

Worst Remake, Ripoff, or Sequel-

Robin Hood

Holmes & Watson

Death Wish

The Meg

Death of a Nation

Worst Screenplay-

Fifty Shades Freed

Death of a Nation

The Happytime Murders

Gotti

Winchester

Worst Supporting Actor-

Justice Smith, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Jamie Foxx, Robin Hood

John C. Reilly, Holmes & Watson

Ludacris (voice only), Show Dogs

Joel McHale, The Happytime Murders

Worst Supporting Actress-

Kellyanne Conway (as herself), Fahrenheit 11/9

Marcia Gay Harden, Fifty Shades Freed

Melania Trump (as herself), Fahrenheit 11/9

Kelly Preston, Gotti

Jaz Sinclair, Slenderman

Worst Screen Combos-

Johnny Depp & His Fast-Fading Film Career (He’s doing voices for cartoons for kripesakes!), Sherlock Gnomes

Donald J. Trump & His Self-Perpetuating Pettiness, Death of a Nation and Fahrenheit 11/9

Any Two Actors or Puppets (Especially in those creepy sex scenes), The Happytime Murders

Kelly Preston & John Travolta, Gotti

Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly, Holmes & Watson

Worst Director-

Spierig Bros., Winchester

Ethan Cohen, Holmes & Watson

James Foley, Fifty Shades Freed

Kevin Connolly, Gotti

Brian Henson, The Happytime Murders

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